Invisible Helmet

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November 13, 2013:
CNN profiles the Invisible Helmet.

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2013 Fashion:

Prevent helmet hair! Using the new invisible bike helmet is a great way to look stylish and protect your cerebellum in the event of a sudden impact event as long as you are crashing in the normal way and not a novel scenario that would not prompt the technology to inflate.

How does the invisible helmet work?

Special collar deploys as helmet on impact.

Invisible HelmetA new Swedish invention dubbed the "invisible helmet" is essentially a collar containing an inflatable helmet that deploys in one tenth of a second if it detects an imminent colission. Known in Sweden as the Chieftan (Hovding) the helmet also includes a black box that records ten seconds of data prior to, and during, the crash, which may be of interest to accident investigators and coroners alike. The idea behind the helmet is that you can look fashionable and still be protected in the event of a bicycle accident, and the $600 price tag is also attractive to the kind of people who line up at Apple stores 3 days before the next overpriced gadget is released. The collar that houses the auto-inflating helmet contains accelerometers, a gyroscope, and proprietary sensors that are meant to understand a "crash event" in progress and instantly deploy. Intangibles like head shape, big hair, piercings, and items worn on the head may make for interesting case studies into what might get pulled, torn, or embedded in the act of inflation. As a commentary from someone who used to ride bikes with no headgear whatsoever, yet still favors brain protection in the current day and age, the only hope we can give to this new invention is that it works as well as an actual helmet, because fashion is no reason to risk your brain.

In late 2013 the news of the Invisible Bike Helmet cheered a world wearied by a failed Obamacare website, NSA spying on European alles (I mean "allies") and the continuing antics of Miley Cyrus. Finally, people have something that they can rally around, namely a way to get from point A to point B without messing up a hairstyle. A holiday has been declared, and people are dancing in the streets or feverishly looking in the mirror to see what they will look like while wearing the exciting new headgear. Sure, the XBox One (which is the 3rd) and the Playstation 4 (which at least keeps an accurate nomenclature) are on the horizon, but who cares? You can finally ride down the street and look great without worrying about scrambling your brain in a low-speed collision. And it only costs $600 to buy something nobody can see. Remember, the Invisible Helmet beats the Imaginary Helmet when it comes to cool technology, but the standard "ugly" helmet keeps you from getting Traumatic Brain Injuries as well.

Author's note: I have a friend Ron who went mountain biking and was hit by (or ran into, he is pretty hazy on it) a car in a tunnel in Colorado. His helmet was split in half BY THE TOP OF THE CAR as he flipped over it. Sure, he tore a rotator cuff and looked like he was jumped into the Crips afterward, but his brain was intact. I can only hope that an invisible helmet would have worked as well as the styrofoam and plastic model, especially for the part where he was upside down having his head hit the top of the car. On top of all this he got right back on his bike and rode into town, which sounds crazy but maybe all that adrenaline doesn't put you in the best mental state. Therefore, in one humble writer's view, a visible helmet might be a better option.

Notes and Special Information

Special note: Although this device has not been circulated among the general public, the question arises as to whether it will work when needed, or if it will activate under unusual circumstances, and if so how much does it cost to re-pack.